(Mrs.Hot is writing a book! The latest inspiration, empowerment and entertainment returns soon.)
IN WHICH I CONSIDER THE PLIGHT OF THE HOLE-LESS.
On your online dating profile you are asked to list your relationship preferences. The choices are: New friends; short-term dating; long-term dating; casual sex. I chose all except “casual sex,” a.k.a. “one night stand,” because I felt that designation sent out a skanky vibe I had no interest in transmitting; and I had no doubt, moreover, those men interested in such would be mightily transmitting, alright — every unsavory sexual malady.
Not that I’m a shrinking violet, as you know, when it comes to drive-by sex when it presents itself. I simply don’t want to give the impression I’m necessarily that available, all the time. Because, in fact, I’m interested in the more committed dating, as well.
Guys — often with just a pic of an extremely hot torso, and with “casual sex” checked off on their almost informationless profile — messaged me frequently using a phrase I’d discover to be code for a one night stand:
“Hi Gorgeous — do you want to have fun?”
Another immediate give away was the less direct but still telling question: “You’re stunning. What are you looking for here?”
They wanted to make sure you weren’t interested in a relationship: these guys didn’t want anything to do with the measured civility of dating a woman — it was all about getting their rocks off and much of the time, in the very near future … tonight. Often their profiles only lasted a couple hours before they disabled their accounts and disappeared, for night or even lunch hour hookups.
I avoided these guys with their terse exchanges, when they came after me: if I were in need, so much easier and mos def, more satisfying, for me to play with myself than an unknown torso. I mean, as if.
Nevertheless, I did on occasion have first — and last — dates with guys who turned out to be simply looking for a willing and convenient hole to plug, and preferably ASAP, and once.
And sometimes, yes, they were into me.
Yours truly,
