IN WHICH I CONSIDER THE BENEFITS OF BEING STRANDED.
Hair is sexual, plain and simple. When Delilah cut off Samson’s, he lost his power, a metaphor if there ever was one: what’s more sexually attractive, on either sex, than a nice head of hair?
I grew my already long hair longer when I started learning belly dance — I was inspired by my teachers. It extends any movement of the head, while serving as a powerfully sexy accessory to an already unabashedly sexually-charged dance: belly dance’s roots are in ancient fertility rituals. A given in countless cultures, long hair is traditional, for example, for Hawaiian women: their smokin’ hot dance, the Hawaiian Hula, oozes allure.
But you need not shimmy, nor conjure the ho to Don Ho, to have long hair and the benefits that go along with it. As one of the contrasts we enjoy with the opposite sex, long hair is undeniably attractive and sexy, two of the components in the GAS: Glamour, Attractiveness and Sexiness, that fuel our Life à la Hot. I love long hair. Guys love long hair. It’s a win/win. And by the way, it makes you look younger.
There are societal “rules” about hair, of course: older women shouldn’t wear their hair long, and because of this, after a certain age, most keep their hair to the shoulders or above. Also, similar to makeup, consider that colored hair used to be the province of prostitutes and showgirls, and as recently as twenty-five years ago, roots were considered the height of déclassé. Why, someone growing out their hair had to weather months of looking like they’d done time in an asylum. Thankfully, now, no such stupid limitations persist, and endless colors, combinations and states of grow-out proliferate: nobody cares.
Regardless of our progress in terms of coloring, though, my long hair flouts the still extant rules that dictate I’m too old for it. However, by this point, dear reader, you may have gathered, I, Mrs.Hot, do not give a damn what people think. Artificial rules are not going to enslave me. I question everything, then think for myself. I am free.
Of course, you need not have long hair to be gorgeous, but as an important part of a hot presentation, make sure you put your best head forward when you leave the house every day. Take advantage of cuts, colors and stylings offered through Groupon and other promotional coupons — expensive highlights, for example, can be had for deep discounts. In urban centers like New York, famous salons even offer free color and cuts by their junior staff on specific nights. You might even see me in the next chair.
Though I won’t be getting any cutting: I only cut to The Chase.
Yours truly,
